My mother—one of my dearest friends and greatest champions—passed away less than two weeks before the last election. While Mom’s death was not a surprise, after all she was 96 years old, suffered from dementia, and was on Hospice—I was still in the early days of processing her death and my grief.
Then came the election results, and I had another loss to process.
I’ve heard some people claim MAGA supporters see the elections as a sporting event. They put on their red hats, dress up in flag-like apparel, and adorn their vehicles with flags and banners. And when they lose—or win—their reaction is similar to a loss or win of their favorite team.
As for me, I keep thinking of that viral video of the Trump supporter sobbing after his last loss, begging him to come back and save her and our country. She was quite dramatic.
It’s interesting to me, because the loss I feel is not about any of those things.
You see, I am not sad for my team, because for me it was never akin to a sporting event. Plus, I’m not a sports fan.
Nor am I sad for myself, like that sobbing Trump supporter.
And the loss I’m experiencing has nothing to do with any sadness I might feel for our country.
The grief I’ve been processing regarding the last election is about a profound sense of disappointment in my fellow Americans—especially family members who decided to vote for him, or people whom I consider friends.
It is a visceral, gut wrenching, sadness in people. I have always been an optimist. I’ve always held onto the belief that people are inherently good. But now I ask, are they?
This is not about politics. Had someone like Liz Cheney been the GOP candidate and won, I would not have been happy, because I disagree with her politics. BUT I would not be experiencing this gut wrenching disappointment in my fellow Americans.
Our country has put into office a man who, like an adolescent, calls his adversaries insulting names. He is a serial cheater and womanizer, who partied with Epstein, bragged about grabbing women between their legs and hitting on married women, and lacks any decorum or diplomacy.
He has publicly mocked a disabled journalist, insulted POWs, dodged the draft with suspicious bone spurs, is an adjudicated rapist and has been convicted of 34 felonies. He is obsessed with revenge and can easily be swayed with excessive flattery. I could go on with my list, but what would be the point? None of that mattered.
Many of his supporters cheer on his behavior, claiming it makes him more relatable—he is just like us! Not sure how that is a flex.
But people I care about voted for this man, and my disappointment in them is profound. It is a little like discovering someone you care about is now best friends with a guy who went on a crime spree in your town, which included manhandling women, stealing from charities and improperly taking sensitive files from his last job, and the only reason he didn’t go to jail for any of his crimes is because he got out on a technicality. He never apologized for any of his crimes, just denied or made excuses, despite the evidence. He also likes to mock the disabled guy who works at the grocery store, and when he sees a woman who doesn’t give him the attention he desires, he lets everyone know he thinks she is fat or ugly. Despite all of that, your friend thinks the guy is terrific.
(Photo: About losses. Mom on the left.)
