Bobbi Ann Johnson Holmes

Happy 46th Anniversary Don!

There is a reason time flies, and where does the time go are cliches. It’s because they are so true. Today Don and I are celebrating our 46th Anniversary. We met fifty years ago—a half a century. I’ve been with Don for almost 75% of my life. And we keep repeating those cliches, because they are so true.

I met Don at the end of my senior year in high school, over Easter break. He had come out to Havasu Palms with his roommate, Gary Morris. Gary was one of my close friends, who often came to Havasu Palms where his aunt and uncle had a vacation trailer.

I was dating someone else at the time, so we didn’t really get together until I went into Covina, California, to shop for a prom dress. While there, we went to see Gary and since Don was one of Gary’s roommates, I saw him for the second time. And as another cliché goes, the rest is history.

We’ve had both good times and bad times, struggles and successes. It’s been an adventure and from it we had two wonderful children, who we are immensely proud of—and we feel blessed that we also love and respect our son and daughter-in-law. And of course there is our granddaughter and grandson. Being a grandparent is absolutely the best.

I suppose one of the many things about Don that I love, he never expected me to be less, so he could feel like more. He’s always been my champion and there when I needed support. 

I love you Don, and Happy Anniversary.

Bobbi

Observing the faux outrage….

I’ll be honest, drag shows aren’t my thing. But neither is football, beauty pageants, gun fetishes, and most organized religion. Where some people see drag shows as detrimental to children, I see the same thing for some of the other activities I just listed.

Over on twitter I’ve been reading a lot of tweets about “grooming” at the drag shows. Grooming seems to be the right’s new word, sort of like fake news and communist. One of those spooky, sort of sinister words about evil intentions toward our innocent children.

Frankly, I am getting sick of the word. What does it mean exactly? According to one online definition: “the action by a pedophile of preparing a child for a meeting, especially via an internet chat room, with the intention of committing a sexual offense.”

Okay, before we get all angsty and overly dramatic, let’s all settle down a moment and look at this objectively.

I believe you will find pedophiles anywhere. In fact, we often find them within institutions that conservatives typically endorse.

Let’s begin with the church. We’ve all heard of the sexual scandals and coverups within the Catholic Church. But they are not the only church under scrutiny. Recently it has come to light that the largest protestant church in the United States—the Southern Baptist—has its own skeletons regarding sexual abuse. According to the New York Times, an investigation revealed, “that nearly 400 Southern Baptist leaders, from youth pastors to top ministers, had pleaded guilty or been convicted of sex crimes against more than 700 victims since 1998.”

When I lived in Arizona, one of the local stories was about Colorado City, in the county where I lived. There fundamental polygamist offshoots of the Mormon church groomed young girls to marry old dudes while chasing off some of the teenage boys who might be their competition.

And as a feminist, I don’t approve of the grooming of young girls by many churches, where they teach the girls to be subservient to men—to blindly obey. Screw that. But hey, if YOU believe that is the right way to live, go for it. You have your first Amendment right, as do I. Of course, if I find out you are forcing a thirteen-year-old to marry some old dude, I will go to the police and see if there is any legal action that might be taken. Religious freedom only goes so far.

Now, how about sports? Sports is an all-American activity, right? Unfortunately, it can also be a fertile playing field for the pedo. Look at the number of coaches and doctors who’ve been exposed for taking advantage of the minors in their charge. Heck, look at Republican Representative Jim Jordan from Ohio who has been accused of covering up sexual abuse of the wrestlers at Ohio State University.

Now let’s look at little girl beauty pageants. I have always found it rather creepy to paint adult-like makeup on a little girl’s face, put her in adult-like-sexualized clothing, have her wear high heels (frankly, I think grown women are crazy to wear heels) and then parade her in front of a bunch of strangers while she makes provocative poses for the camera.

Some may say, “Hey, you must have a sick mind if you see those little girls like that, makeup or not!” No, I don’t find them sexual like that. BUT I know the pedos sitting in the audience watching are probably getting turned on, and THAT is why it turns my stomach.

But hey, that is just my opinion. I am not the boss of those parents who love pageants, and they have every right to put their daughters in beauty pageants—just like other parents have the right to take their kids to a drag show. Neither one is my thing, but we live in a diverse world, and what I find offensive might simply be part of another person’s culture.

Drag shows are not a new thing. They have been an accepted part of America entertainment for generations.

First, what is a drag show?  It’s a show where the performers impersonate the opposite sex while doing something like singing, dancing, or pantomime.

If you think about it, live theater practically started out as one big drag show. Women weren’t always allowed on stage, so men actors performed the female roles—in full costume.

But if we want to look at the American culture, specifically regarding drag shows, how American is Bob Hope? Famous for entertaining our troops, along with his countless movies, television specials and live entertainment. Legend Milton Berle performed with him—in drag—in 1985.

What about the beloved Geraldine Jones character brought to life by comedian Flip Wilson?

Remember the 1980s sitcom, Bosom Buddies, starring Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari?

And I’m sure you’ve probably seen the video clips of Rudy Giuliani in a drag skit with Donald Trump, where Donald gets a little amorous with flirty Rudy, and gives him a kiss.

How about the musical Victor/Victoria, starring Julie Andrews? We are talking Julie Andrews, star of countless family friendly movies, like Mary PoppinsSound of Music, and Princess Diaries.

See, drag shows don’t have to be scary.

But, since I haven’t been to one of these “family friendly” drag shows that currently have some clutching their pearls, I can’t really say how I’d feel if my daughter took my grandchildren to one. Yet, I saw a photograph online of two men dressed in BSDM gear and a little girl checking them out. That seemed inappropriate, yet I don’t know where that photo was really taken or if it’s indicative of what one might see at a “family friendly” drag show.

Unfortunately, in our society it’s common for sexualized content to seep in anywhere. Look at the Olympics where the women gymnastics were required to wear costumes revealing intimate details of their bodies, yet men gymnastics weren’t. And some of those half-time performances get a little racy at “family friendly” sporting events.

My bottom line?

Leave people alone. It is really no one’s business how someone dresses. If it offends, look away.

And it’s really no one’s business what legal entertainment another person attends. If someone doesn’t like it, don’t attend.

I remember when people were outraged over Elvis’s “indecent” performance and the Beatles’s long hair. (Which really was not that long.)

And instead of raging about how the other group is grooming or hurting children, perhaps they should first look a little closer to home and examine the bubble they reside in. There may be issues that need their attention.