This morning, while making my bed, I tapped on the top of my Apple HomePod. Last night I had been listening to a book with it, and I wondered if it might start playing again. But instead of the book, Siri said something like, “I’ve selected a song especially for you.” Then Moon River started playing.
Moon River was one of my mom’s favorite songs. As some of you reading this already know, she passed away three months ago—on October 24. During the last three days of her life, I was by her side throughout the day, and even though she was unconscious, I would play her favorite songs for her. One of those was Moon River.
I don’t think I have ever played Moon River at home. At least, not since she moved into the care home, 18 months before her death. And the last time I played the song on my phone was three months ago, as I sat by her bedside at the care home.
I suppose skeptics will roll their eyes and say Siri played it because I played it numerous times back in October.
But for me, I see it different. Mediums often tell us spirits use music to reach out to loved ones they’ve left behind. For me, Mom was reaching out, letting me know she was okay, and thanking me for being by her side and playing her favorite songs.
My mother—one of my dearest friends and greatest champions—passed away less than two weeks before the last election. While Mom’s death was not a surprise, after all she was 96 years old, suffered from dementia, and was on Hospice—I was still in the early days of processing her death and my grief.
Then came the election results, and I had another loss to process.
I’ve heard some people claim MAGA supporters see the elections as a sporting event. They put on their red hats, dress up in flag-like apparel, and adorn their vehicles with flags and banners. And when they lose—or win—their reaction is similar to a loss or win of their favorite team.
As for me, I keep thinking of that viral video of the Trump supporter sobbing after his last loss, begging him to come back and save her and our country. She was quite dramatic.
It’s interesting to me, because the loss I feel is not about any of those things.
You see, I am not sad for my team, because for me it was never akin to a sporting event. Plus, I’m not a sports fan.
Nor am I sad for myself, like that sobbing Trump supporter.
And the loss I’m experiencing has nothing to do with any sadness I might feel for our country.
The grief I’ve been processing regarding the last election is about a profound sense of disappointment in my fellow Americans—especially family members who decided to vote for him, or people whom I consider friends.
It is a visceral, gut wrenching, sadness in people. I have always been an optimist. I’ve always held onto the belief that people are inherently good. But now I ask, are they?
This is not about politics. Had someone like Liz Cheney been the GOP candidate and won, I would not have been happy, because I disagree with her politics. BUT I would not be experiencing this gut wrenching disappointment in my fellow Americans.
Our country has put into office a man who, like an adolescent, calls his adversaries insulting names. He is a serial cheater and womanizer, who partied with Epstein, bragged about grabbing women between their legs and hitting on married women, and lacks any decorum or diplomacy.
He has publicly mocked a disabled journalist, insulted POWs, dodged the draft with suspicious bone spurs, is an adjudicated rapist and has been convicted of 34 felonies. He is obsessed with revenge and can easily be swayed with excessive flattery. I could go on with my list, but what would be the point? None of that mattered.
Many of his supporters cheer on his behavior, claiming it makes him more relatable—he is just like us! Not sure how that is a flex.
But people I care about voted for this man, and my disappointment in them is profound. It is a little like discovering someone you care about is now best friends with a guy who went on a crime spree in your town, which included manhandling women, stealing from charities and improperly taking sensitive files from his last job, and the only reason he didn’t go to jail for any of his crimes is because he got out on a technicality. He never apologized for any of his crimes, just denied or made excuses, despite the evidence. He also likes to mock the disabled guy who works at the grocery store, and when he sees a woman who doesn’t give him the attention he desires, he lets everyone know he thinks she is fat or ugly. Despite all of that, your friend thinks the guy is terrific.
According to a recent New York Post article, “A majority of Gen Z and millennial workers believe that “cheating” in the workplace is completely acceptable, such as napping on the clock or using AI to perform tasks.”
While I don’t believe it should be acceptable—just as I didn’t think it is acceptable to gun down a CEO—in both cases I can understand why they did it, and perhaps we should start assigning some of the responsibility for this behavior where it belongs—at the top.
Consider the following…
What does a health insurance company and a Gen Z or millennial worker have in common? Both provide some sort of service in exchange for money.
What does an employer and a client of a health insurance company have in common? Both pay someone money to get some sort of service.
For the Health Insurance company, they are being paid each month to cover their client’s medical needs. Yet instead of actually providing all the services they lead their customer to believe they are getting, they often “Delay, Deny, and Defend” in an attempt to avoid handing over all the services they promised the client, thus putting more money in their own pockets.
Now let’s turn to the Gen Z and millennial worker. They see how these CEOs are making MILLIONS of dollars a year by cutting corners and not delivering all that the health insurance client believes they are paying for.
If the big boys at the top can do it, why not them? At least when they do it, in most cases no one is going to die. While it may not put more money in their pockets like the big CEOs, it will give them some time, and what do they say? Time is money.
Not only are big companies like Health Insurance Companies setting the example, but they are also protected by our government. Look how the “authorities” quickly tracked down the alleged shooter. Gen Z and millennials are not stupid; they know if they go to New York and someone shoots them in the street, the authorities won’t be putting a fraction of the effort into finding the shooter.
I am a firm believer that if we want our children—or anyone we have any influence over—to behave in a certain way, we need to set an example. Such as, a man can’t expect his son to show respect to his mother if the man displays disrespect to his wife.
Look what happened after Trump was elected president. Trump is an adjudicated rapist. While you might disagree with the civil ruling against him, New York, Judge Lewis A Kaplan said, “…Mr. Trump in fact did ‘rape’ Ms Carroll as that term commonly is used and understood in contexts outside of the New York penal law…” Perhaps you don’t see Trump as a rapist, but apparently a jury of his peers did.
My point in bringing this up, what happened right after Trump was elected? Trump supporter Nick Fuentes went on social media boasting that with Trump’s win, women were subject to the rules of men and then said “Your bodies, our choice.”
That rapey comment went viral on social media with other trolls posting it in women’s comments. Reportedly, some schoolboys were using the phrase to taunt female classmates.
Terrific, guys. The top has just set an example how to treat women and girls.
We need to stop trashing the behavior of the younger generation when the behavior of the older generation is a dumpster fire.
If we want our citizens to behave better, perhaps those who are considered our leaders need to start setting a better example.
(Photo: Lily and Danny on the sofa. We didn’t want our dogs on the sofa, but with the example we set, there they are!)
(More about the pups: Lily (left) Danny (right) were named for two of the main characters in my Haunting Danielle series. Well, sorta. When we got Danny as a very young pup he was already being called Danny. We could have changed the name, but my daughter pointed out we should keep the name, for Danielle aka Dani in the series, and then name the female we were getting, Lily. They are miniature Australian Shepherds. While they are not biological siblings, we’ve told them they are. Lily has been spayed, Danny neutered. You can’t breed two tri aussies without a great risk of birth defects. Both are spoiled and well loved.)
