My book is my baby…or how to inflame reviewers.

babybookSome authors refer to their books as their babies. Apparently this particular metaphor really pisses off some reviewers, who then take it upon themselves to swoop down on the authors and punish them for making the comparison.

Of course, this is not the first time people have found a metaphor inappropriate. Take the term Nazi, for instance. Maybe Seinfeld got away with the “Soup Nazi” – but others who’ve applied that term have often been bashed, with their critics insisting using the term carelessly minimizes the horror of the Holocaust.

While I’ve never considered the books I write to be my “babies” – I understand why some authors choose that term.

On the flip side, I understand why some reviewers find the term inappropriate – although I don’t get the rage it incites with some reviewers (I mean really folks, get a life).

The thing is – it is never a good idea to criticize a person’s baby. That is a quick way to make an enemy. Imagine telling your friend, “Gosh that is one ugly baby,” or “Your baby isn’t very smart,” or “Your baby is pretty boring.”

If we want to grow as writers, we need to accept honest criticism. I’m not talking about those nasty troll reviews – and believe me, there are plenty of those out there – but even those we need to consider, if even for a moment.

When we seriously see our books as our babies, then we miss an opportunity to learn from honest, yet negative reviews.

As for me, if you trash my babies – meaning my son or daughter – then buddy, you really are in for a fight. It doesn’t matter if what you are saying is true or false – that typically doesn’t matter to a protective mother bear.

My Claims to Fame

Antique manual typewriter isolated on whiteMy claims to fame in high school were that I drove a boat to school and that I typed all my notes.

The first made me cool – the second made me nerdy. So I suppose they sort of balanced me out.

Living on the California side of Lake Havasu at Havasu Palms, I took a 12-mile (round trip) boat ride each school day – beginning in my sophomore year. A friend who lived with my family for a portion of my sophomore year shared the boat ride with me, but for most of the time, it was a solo run.

My boating adventures included numerous engine failures – being caught in storms – once I sunk the boat (okay, I did make it to shore, but it was going down fast) – and once I rescued a drowning man (okay, he wasn’t drowning exactly; he had foolishly put an engine on his canoe, and when I found him his canoe had capsized and he was precariously holding onto the tip of the craft in frigid water).

As for the notes – those were typed on an old red Royal typewriter my grandfather had given me. The keyboard – now attached to a computer instead of typewriter — remains my preference over pen and paper. Had laptops been invented back when I was in high school, then perhaps the typing thing wouldn’t have seemed so nerdy.

Dark Nights and Fast Boats on Lake Havasu

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Racing down Lake Havasu south from Lake Havasu City, heading toward Parker Dam isn’t such a terrific idea once the sun has set, especially when you pass Havasu Palms. This was especially true a few years back, when navigation lights were even scarcer than they are now.

I remember one year- when we were still at Havasu Palms – a boat raced past the park and veered right, into Whipple Bay, instead of staying in the center of the main channel. This landed the boat on the shoreline across from Havasu Palms’ mobile home park along Whipple Bay.

As was the routine when an accident occurred near the park, someone came to get one of us from Havasu Palms management. After all, it wasn’t like they could call a local cop.

They found Don at the restaurant, and informed him a boat had just crashed on the other side of Whipple Bay; they heard it. Don immediately drove from the restaurant to the mobile home park.

Sound carries exceptionally well across the water. When Don arrived, he could hear shouts of help coming from the darkness, across the bay.

Standing at the shore Don called out, “Is anyone hurt?”

“No, we’re fine!” He heard them call back.

Sadly, we’ve seen our share of boating accidents over the years, and often people die. Don was relieved to hear no one was hurt.

The next moment Don heard them call out, “We need a ride to shore!”

Don paused a moment, then shouted back, “You’re already on the shore!”

(Photo: Whipple Bay at Havasu Palms, California)