Let me begin this post by saying I don’t believe sexual preference is a choice. I believe you are either born straight, gay, bi, or asexual. I don’t believe it’s something you can control. Those people who sincerely believe it is a choice—those people, in my opinion, are bi. Since they personally are attractive to both men and women and can “choose” to be with the most socially accepted partner, they assume everyone in the world is like that. But they are wrong.

I’m straight. It’s not a choice, it’s just who I am. And I can’t imagine how traumatic it would be if someone told me I had to be attracted to other women—and I was expected to marry and be in an intimate relationship with one. That is why  I can imagine how equally abhorrent it is for a gay person to be told the only acceptable intimate partner they can ever have is one of the opposite sex.

Now on to gay pride…

We don’t have straight pride month because straight teenagers aren’t killing themselves at an alarming rate because they are sexually attracted to the opposite sex. It has been reported that LGBTQ teenagers are four times as likely to commit suicide than their peers.

Teen years are emotional and challenging enough without being told you are going to hell because of how you were born. 

I also believe a closeted gay man can be one of the most dangerous men for both women and openly gay men. Especially if they are in politics or have another position of power. Why?

A closeted-gay-man is often filled with self-loathing and hate, unable to be what society tells him to be in order to be a “real man.”  He turns that self-loathing to openly gay men and other members of the LGBTQ community, resentful they are living their truth.  They also turn hate toward women, resentful because society tells him he is supposed to be sexually attracted to them, when he isn’t. Since he can’t control his desire, he seeks to control women in other ways—such as attempting to take away their bodily autonomy, their vote…he wants to control women. That way, he can feel like a “real man.”

But if we allowed people to be who they were born to be—as long as all partners are consenting adults (this goes for straight, gay and bi)—then there would be no reason for the hate and loathing.

Remove the self-loathing and we reduce the number of teens who try to kill themselves, and we reduce the number of men in power trying to take away women’s rights.

That is what pride is about. It is supposed to send a message that they are accepted…Accepted just as God (or the Universe, or however you believe) created them.

Happy Pride Month!