My parents_edited-1

I’m not big on censorship. But there is one book on Amazon I would love to see removed. It ‘s To Train Up a Child – a book that proclaims to be Christian based and advocates beating very small children with the sole purpose of breaking their spirits and bringing them into total compliance. One of the authors even boasts about repeatedly hitting a 10-month old child for not playing with something she wanted him to play with. Children have died after their parents followed this barbaric parenting manual.

One of my friends tells of a church member who regularly gives this book as a shower gift. It isn’t given as a perverse gag gift, but a sincere gesture in support of this parenting model.

Meanwhile on Facebook, I am constantly inundated by reposts that brag of being spanked as a child, and how the posters credit the spankings for them turning out as productive and respectful members of society.

I’ve nothing against an occasional swat on the bottom, depending on the circumstance. But spanking did not play a significant role in my upbringing – nor in the raising of our children. Considering how our children – now adults – turned out, I don’t believe sparing the rod turned them into lazy, non-productive, disrespectful citizens. In fact, I can proudly boast both are extremely hard working, and had their first job by age twelve. They are both doing well, and make me proud every day.

As for my parents sparing the rod, I don’t think I turned out so bad either. I’ve been married to the same man for over 37 years, and my husband and I are taking care of our mothers – both of whom are 85 years old – who live with us. If that isn’t a sign of respect, I don’t know what is.  I asked my husband if he was spanked much as a child and he tells me he doesn’t recall ever being spanked.

I’m  not saying we or my parents never spanked –  yet it was rare and never more than a couple swats on the bottom. I really don’t think those few swats taught any valuable lessons to me or my children. The valuable lessons I learned from my parents were by the examples they set.

One comment on “Love doesn’t have to hurt.

  1. Nick Russell

    Well said, Bobbi. I got a swat or two growing up when it was called for, but like yours, my parents taught by the way they lived their lives.

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